How to Prevent Addiction in Your Kids

One of the biggest concerns for modern parents is how to prevent addiction in their kids. Many -- quite rightly -- wonder whether the parent discipline techniques they adopt might prevent their child from developing an addiction later in life. Confusing parents further, parent discipline in the United States has changed and evolved over the past several hundred years. The parenting tips below can not only smooth the way for a better parent-child relationship, but some have even been proven to help prevent addiction in kids.

~Lead By Example~
Your addictive behavior puts your child at risk. In fact, parental behavior is the top influence on a child's later behavior. The link between parental addictive behavior and risk to their children of developing addictive behaviors is well established. Rather than telling your child to “do as I say, not as I do,” which is ineffective, prevent addiction from developing in them by practicing moderation in your own life. You will increase the chances that your child will do the same. 

~Be Consistent and Firm With Boundaries

The trend in parenting has moved from strict to lax to mixed messages concerning parent discipline. Both excessively strict and excessively lax discipline styles are unhelpful to children, and they result in them making up their own rules -- without your guidance. Setting rules that are fair and appropriate will help to prevent addiction from developing by your child lacking the ability to set limits for themselves. Emphasize health and safety, so that your child will understand the reasons to have the limits in the first place. Then, stick to the limits you set.

~Take Care If Your Child Has a “Difficult Temperament”
There are many reasons that children have behavior problems. Children are significantly more likely to have “difficult” temperaments when they have parents who use substances; they are also at greater risk of mistreatment by their parents, as parents’ make efforts to discipline them. While having a child who is difficult to discipline is stressful for you, inappropriate parenting causes even greater stress for the child, who is then at greater risk for coping in unhealthy ways, such as developing addictions. Prevent addiction from developing in the future by ensuring you don't scapegoat your child, or mistreat them while you try to control them. Seek professional help if you are struggling. 

~Avoid Physical Punishment
While the debate on whether or not parents should use physical punishments seems neverending, one thing is clear. Physically aggressive parenting has been linked specifically with child aggression. Be aware that parenting practices are more likely to cause oppositional and aggressive behaviors in your child than to cause hyperactive behavior problems. Prevent addiction from developing by using non-physical punishments. Expressing warmth (see next tip) will facilitate the process of helping your child respond well to the parent discipline you do use. 

~Nurture Feelings of Warmth Toward Your Child

Parental warmth is one of your most powerful tools in preventing your child from experiencing behavioral problems. Research has shown that a parent's feelings and expressions of warmth toward their child can even override weaknesses in other areas of parenting. A lack of warmth from parent to child is particularly associated with oppositional behavior. So, if you find your child is talking back, contradicting you, and generally opposing the boundaries you try and set, reflect on how warmly you have interacted with your child recently.

家庭教育12字：規矩、尊重、選擇、責任、距離、信任！

1、規矩。沒有規矩不成方圓,和孩子一起立下規矩，共同遵守。我想這點很多人都能夠做到。但是很少有人會在規矩後面帶一些附加條件，在什麼情況下沒有堅守規矩不算完全犯規，這規矩才能夠得以長久實施。比如：孩子某天沒有在規定時間完成功課，讓他自己找理由下臺階，比硬碰硬地挑明他違反規矩給與懲罰的後續效果會更好。

2、尊重。以前我們要求孩子要尊重家長，現在我們已經反過來要尊重孩子了。其實，尊重是相互的。我這裡所說的尊重是，尊重孩子的意見、尊重孩子的感覺以及尊重孩子的體驗。比如說，十來歲孩子說他戀愛了，家長說“孩子，你那不叫愛情”，孩子即使不立刻爆發也會泣不成聲；尊重孩子的家長會換種方式說，“這時候的感情很美妙，值得好好珍惜，值得認真對待。”然後參與討論對待的方法。

3、選擇。不管我們怎樣把孩子當成成人看待，那也只是“當成”，有很多事情不能完全由著孩子去做，那麼就多給一些方案，有他去做選擇和決定。不過，這裡說的“多”，一般也不要多過四條，因為許多實驗證明，太多的選擇反而會降低人們對“選擇”本身的快樂感覺，而且之後的努力程度也會受到影響。

4、責任。責任是和權力對等的，但是從法律概念上講，權力可以放棄，而責任不可以。對於那些在學習上主動性很強的孩子，更多地強調學習的“權力”，而對於不太主動對學習不太感興趣的孩子，則重點強調“責任”，都能夠達到同樣的效果。同理,對於孩子來說,喜歡的學科運用自己的"權力"+"責任"意識把它學的得精益求精;對於不喜歡的學科則運用"責任"意識,先強迫自己學習它,學好它。才不會對學習產生厭倦。

5、距離。在孩子還是嬰幼兒的時候，與家長親密無間，但隨後則必須有意識地保持一定的距離——包括空間距離和心理距離，要允許孩子有自己的秘密，特別是青少年以後，不別用各種方式各種技巧對他的事情刨根問底，企圖讓他“赤裸裸”地站在你的面前。就像對待其他人的孩子那樣對待他，比如：考試差了，你是說“沒關係，一次考試算不得什麼”；考試好了，你說“祝賀你！你真行！” 

6、信任。信任也是現在家庭教育強調比較多的一個內容。就我的觀察，大多數家長朋友都說自己信任孩子的，事實上也是。不過只是表現在一些方面，諸如孩子的品格、為人等方面甚至表現的過渡信任，在孩子的行為能方面卻稍稍不足，比如，孩子一次考試因為疏忽少作了一道大題，家長一般會說“相信你下次不會這樣了”，但是下次考試來臨的時候，有多少家長忍得住不加上一句“別再馬虎了阿！”得，你的信任已經打了很大的折扣。